I have read this post three times now. Because it’s making me feel less alone. More normal. More OK.
men, sex, blackouts. Those were my issues when drinking. I was a binge and blackout drinker. If I drank, 90% of the time, I blacked out.
I’m so sorry-and so sad-that a Boyfriend you loved did that to you.
Sadly, I think too many women who drank have similar stories. Mine were committed by men I didn’t know at all or very well. I still feel gross when I think of what young Rosemary endured by men who took advantage of her inability to consent.
I haven’t read Drinking A Love Story, but I’m going straight from this comment to my library app to see if I can borrow it.
And your past versions of you ? Dang. I want to hug every one of them. This is such powerful,gorgeous, heartbreaking imagery & writing.
I can’t wait to listen to this episode with you & Julie.
“this story is my story.” That, for me, has been what keeps me in this game, the long game. Every time I hear my experiences verbalized by another woman, I feel seen. Understood. Less fucked up.
We’re not fucked up. We just learned how to run away from ourselves, habitually.
That auditorium of Kristens - hugs to every earnest version of you. I’ve been doing some revisiting to past Allisons and it really feels hard to hold.
This essay is so important and so gorgeously written. I’ll return here when I’m spinning or feeling lost.
Thank you so much!! Soooo hard to hold. They did the best they could with what they had. If only they knew how amazing they were and are….writing letters to them has been very healing, too! 💕
It was such a pleasure to talk to you Kristen despite all the weather and kids being home. Personally when mine was young, I used to have fantasies about getting lightly jailed. It’s all so relatable. This whole post is so relatable. That tenderness you feel toward your past self—I’ve had those imaginings too. I want to go back and tell her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. That might even be part of the allure of procreating in the first place. Every new generation gets a chance to get it right this time.
This book deeply impacted me when I read it in my late 20s in the late 90s. At the time, I would travel to Boston for work and remember thinking of her and her friend when I would be out running, because they lived there.
'How did they do it?' (Get sober) and the scene where she shows up clenching the sparkling water at the friend's door would play again and again in my OCD brain.
Fast forward to just last weekend. I was on a solo retreat at a monastery near me, also healing the younger selves like your younger Kristens. Geez, it was like I was collecting them like Pokemon in my meditations. Gotta catch em all! 🥵
I have read this post three times now. Because it’s making me feel less alone. More normal. More OK.
men, sex, blackouts. Those were my issues when drinking. I was a binge and blackout drinker. If I drank, 90% of the time, I blacked out.
I’m so sorry-and so sad-that a Boyfriend you loved did that to you.
Sadly, I think too many women who drank have similar stories. Mine were committed by men I didn’t know at all or very well. I still feel gross when I think of what young Rosemary endured by men who took advantage of her inability to consent.
I haven’t read Drinking A Love Story, but I’m going straight from this comment to my library app to see if I can borrow it.
And your past versions of you ? Dang. I want to hug every one of them. This is such powerful,gorgeous, heartbreaking imagery & writing.
Thank you so much 💕 knowing others relate to my auditorium of hurt girls helps heal those girls. Thank you!!
I can’t wait to listen to this episode with you & Julie.
“this story is my story.” That, for me, has been what keeps me in this game, the long game. Every time I hear my experiences verbalized by another woman, I feel seen. Understood. Less fucked up.
We’re not fucked up. We just learned how to run away from ourselves, habitually.
That auditorium of Kristens - hugs to every earnest version of you. I’ve been doing some revisiting to past Allisons and it really feels hard to hold.
This essay is so important and so gorgeously written. I’ll return here when I’m spinning or feeling lost.
Thank you for sharing.
I think I’ll revisit Knapp, too.
Thank you so much!! Soooo hard to hold. They did the best they could with what they had. If only they knew how amazing they were and are….writing letters to them has been very healing, too! 💕
It was such a pleasure to talk to you Kristen despite all the weather and kids being home. Personally when mine was young, I used to have fantasies about getting lightly jailed. It’s all so relatable. This whole post is so relatable. That tenderness you feel toward your past self—I’ve had those imaginings too. I want to go back and tell her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. That might even be part of the allure of procreating in the first place. Every new generation gets a chance to get it right this time.
Really thank you so much for recording with me.!
Sis! Thank you for choosing this book. 🙏🏽
This book deeply impacted me when I read it in my late 20s in the late 90s. At the time, I would travel to Boston for work and remember thinking of her and her friend when I would be out running, because they lived there.
'How did they do it?' (Get sober) and the scene where she shows up clenching the sparkling water at the friend's door would play again and again in my OCD brain.
Fast forward to just last weekend. I was on a solo retreat at a monastery near me, also healing the younger selves like your younger Kristens. Geez, it was like I was collecting them like Pokemon in my meditations. Gotta catch em all! 🥵
Ahhh! Exactly! I love this! (And sorry it took me a month to finish typing this 🤣)
Thank you for sharing, @Jim Savage !